I am sure most of my friends reading this post have at some point in their lives been close to disaster. You'd be walking the beach with your girlfriend, or eating at a road side pani-puri shop when all of a sudden: “Mate...what the hell is going on??""...you'd wince, feel your face twitch in agony and crave for that moment to break away from the crowd to get to do what is the only available option to save yourself from a lot of needless paperwork and embarrassment....
Well, well...in such a situation most of us would dream of only going home as nothing quite compares to the comfort of the home commode- in dire situations, not even the best of the leather couches. Those in public could possibly create more embarrassment than you though they would, leaving home the only available choice--or is it??
Nope-- I don’t think so. All it takes is a bit of presence of mind and thinking in a crisis- the makings of a good manager. Most of us middle class Indians shouldn’t, as long as we don’t make what we're going through seem outright obvious. There are a lot of places to go to. Fortunately I myself haven’t been in such a situation, but have seen certain others hop on their toes, their jeans willing to part any moment. I tried jumping into their shoes and spent a while thinking of alternatives- a trait I developed as an analyst.
My list---
1) If you're close to a five star hotel, walk into the lobby and sit down. Someone's sure to come and ask you your purpose of visit- a very irritating question under the circumstances. Fake an appointment with a fake accent, make yourself comfortable on the posh couch and relieve some of the pressure :-). Make a visit to the coffee shop, walk out and head for heaven- Whew!!!
PS- Most 5 star hotels suffer from the apparent paucity of water to make their foreign customers feel at home. Look for the most obvious alternative. The ploy also works in the case of 3 star hotels :-)
2) You could always walk into a shopping mall like
3) Retail stores like are teeming with activity all the time. You’d be one in a thousand guys in the store at any given point. You could just walk-in, pretend like you've been around for a while and then... :-)
4) There’s a lot many other ingenious options available...Come on, you’re Indian, and have a 5000 year old brain—THINK…and do it with a straight face…
There was this one phase during the last year, when the building that I worked in kept running out of water. I remember an analyst desperate to get on with work, and a friend advising him with a look that had calmness written all over it.
Analyst: Daaahhh!!!Uhhh!!1...There’s no water.
Friend (with a calm look on his face) : Then go home!!!
Analyst: Urrgghhh!!! Can's dude...I've a call scheduled.
Friend :LOL LOL ROTFLMAO
On a more serious note, I intend this to be a parody of our public sanitation system. Nevertheless, I hope it made a good read. Do get back to me with your comments. Also visit this link on a discussion I has with a friend Loori (DM is me, and he is HS) online-- It just turned out funny :-)
